The setting is Ohio State University about six or seven years ago in a huge lecture hall (approximately 1000 students) for a C

The setting is Ohio State University about six or seven years ago in a huge lecture hall (approximately 1000 students) for a Calculus final. Apparently this particular calculus teacher wasn’t very well liked. He was one of those guys who would stand at the front of the class and yell out how much time was remaining before the end of a test, a real charmer. Since he was so busy galavanting around the room making sure that nobody cheated and that everyone was aware of how much time they had left before their failure on the test was complete, he had the students stack the completed tests on the huge podium at the front of the room. This made for quite a mess, remember there were 1000 students in the class.

Five minutes turned into ten, ten into twenty, twenty into fourty… almost an hour after the test was “officially over”, our friend finally put down his pencil, gathered up his work, and headed to the front of the hall to submit his final. The whole time, the professor sat at the front of the room, strangely waiting for the student to complete his exam.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the professor asked as the student stood in front of him about to put down his exam on one of the neatly stacked piles of exams (the professor had plenty of time to stack the mountain of papers while he waited). It was clear that the professor had waited only to give the student a hard time.

“Turning in my exam,” retorted the student confidently.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news for you,” the profesor gloated, “Your exam is an hour late. You’ve FAILED it and, consequently, I’ll see you next term when you repeat my course.”

The student smiled slyly and asked the professor “Do you know who I am?”

“What?” replied the professor grufly, annoyed that the student showed no sign of emotion.

The student rephrased the question mockingly, “Do you know what my name is?”

“NO”, snarled the professor.

The student looked the professor dead in the eyes and said slowly, “I didn’t think so”, as he lifted up one of the stacks half way, shoved his test neatly into the center of the stack, let the stack fall burying his test in the middle, turned around, and walked casually out of the huge lecture hall.


I have many memories of senior math.

To take it would be to suffer wolfs wrath.

I started the year with hope,

But now im stoned like im on dope.


First marking period I got a B,

Which soon dropped to a C.

The midterm was impossible,

Because I messed up the integrals.


I always fell asleep in class,

Which is why I didnt pass.

As of now my brain is fried,

Even though I never tried.


And the one thing Id leave behind,

Is the only thing on my mind:


One derivative,

Two derivative,

Three derivative, four,

Cant do derivatives anymore.



My favorite math test was the one on chapter 5-1. This test was on finding the area of a bounded region. The reason why this test is my favorite is because this was the only test I remember taking. Besides, I just received it back the day I wrote this paragraph. Thus, being the only test remember and currently have, the test on chapter 5-1, which I got an 89 on, is my favorite test.